i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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