Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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