He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
