dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize