on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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