It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
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Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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