i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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