Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
