She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
