Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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