She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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