Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
