So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love you. Go after that dick
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
