Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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