apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
