also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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