My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
