My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
