my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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