suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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