trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
