I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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