I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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