i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize