I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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