please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
