Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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