dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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