I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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