He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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