I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
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we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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