Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
