i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
