If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
NoShamevember. You game?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize