woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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