We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
