The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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