She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
did i just pee glitter
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
