Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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