Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
