The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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