so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
