garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize