I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
