I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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