Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
