Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
