It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
