You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize