Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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