Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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