She's JV to your varsity
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
