I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
