My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
