I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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