if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize