also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
