Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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