STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize