my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
