I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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