she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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